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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I haz been feeling very lonely. Stay at home all day doing nothing. Do work also no mood.. Study also no mood.. I just have to wait for time to pass so I can go sleep. Meanwhile, worrying about all the things I have yet to do. RIP, bio lecture test.. A_A why!! I ate 2 slices of cake today after dinner. Gluttony compelled me to do so. I was not in control of myself.

I WISH I COULD LIVE IN MY OWN FANTASYLAND. I envy autistic people. Doubt they have a care in the world :\ they just exist within their own reality, created within their mind. Must be bliss. Unless they're intrinsically masochistic, then there's nothing much to say.. LOL.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Since I'm typing with correct punctuation, there must be something wrong with me. I want this week to end FAST. I want the weekend to come. I want _____________. That's all. Is it too much to ask for? :\

I want to retreat to the depths of my idealistic reality, where nothing hurts. Stupid tests. Stupid stupid stupid things that we're forced to do but don't want to. Stupid training. Stupid running. Stupid awful feeling of being alone. When did it become like this! I used to be fine on my own. Now I feel...... Incomplete. And there's nothing I can do about it. This sucks.

Dependent = Lose.
Independence = Win.

What can make this void disappear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so tired (of life).

I crave alone-ism. Nobody to hurt you, nobody to hurt, nothing. Emptiness is win! Nothingness is win.

Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making.
8:21 PM